Consistently Ironic

It’s like everything on me is moving … All the fat & muscles rise and fall inside my thick skin like the lashing of the waves against a rock- my only hope being that just as  the rock changes form, I will be able to change my form to something I love more. I am 5.11 & weigh 205 pounds after-all! Running should make that happen. But really who is running to loose weight. Not me for sure. My goal is to establish to myself that I am completely capable of sticking to routine and that I can be consistent, undeviatingly persistent and definitely entertained along the way. Not an easy goal for someone who squirms at the word ROUTINE.

I pride myself for trying new things all the time.This begins with something as ridiculous as never having bought same toothpaste twice to almost never sleeping on the same side of the bed more than two continuous night. To make sleep interesting I would lay my head on the opposite side of the head board or to make it even more exciting , I would sleep diagonally across the bed. I don’t sit on the same chair everyday for dinner. I sit everywhere in my living room ( floor, TV stands, rugs, coffee table etc) I don’t visit the same restaurant twice (with the exception of one or two), shopping at the same grocery store twice in a row- no no, I wake up at different times everyday, I sleep at different times everyday & I change the way things happen around me all the time! Sometimes I wonder I owned a company would I change its goal of  making profits to that of making losses..or would I be so bored that  maybe I need to have more husbands or new parents every year. What if I had children & got bored of them & wanted to swap for new children or live in a new house everyday or be a shape shifter so I could be any body or thing or animal I choose to be.

And while that  maybe a lot of fun to some peeps I know, it is not so much fun for someone living with me, especially if that someone believes that consistency not only gives you roots & security, but also trains your mind to achieve goals. That got me thinking on why I was failing miserably at achieving some goals, especially my dream of running my first 5k. “You cant want to run in sports shoes on one day & stilettos on another day , just to see how it feels” he said.”You also need to have a fixed time to go running and run in a certain way (implying don’t start dancing in the middle of your run because that would make it exciting). You also need to wear the same boring tracks & tees but to make it interesting you can have it in different colors(implying he empathises & is trying to fix the problem in a win win way) . It’s all about function you know” he said alarmed at the reasons and whining for the whole of last year & almost every single day of this year about how I can’t run & why it can be so boring, but how I was soo jealous of every runner I see.

So I have decided. And it is final. My new change would come in the form of consistency- ironic I know, but definitely needed. I promise to run till I reach my 5k. I promise to follow the boring lady’s voice of the Couch to 5k app on my phone.

I most definitely promise to dance on the road if  Pharrel William sings Happy while I do all of this Consistently!